This is a personal story, but one that doesn’t only relate to me, but to many of us. So I think, it’s rather important to share it with you. Because only if we open up to the world – meaning the right people, please don’t open up to strangers who might hurt you – can we start to heal each other and make our journeys easier.
So, here’s the story: I’ve been running in the corporate “hamster wheel” for about 15 years. Close to the end of this period, my body started shouting louder and louder that there was something wrong – our body talks to us, we just have to listen.
I had some people in my life who pushed me further along this hard road. This was important for some time, but then I ran into a brick wall.
My body shouted S.O.S. on many channels. Not over night, but steadily increasing over the years. The pains got stronger and stronger and finally I ran into a standstill – too many of them to explain here. Finally too much to handle them on my own.
Then, luckily people came into my life – some of them were already there, thanks to those who I mean 🙏😘 – who showed and reflected to me that I was under way too much pressure and stress. This sort of “mirroring” is essential … so, listen to the people who point you towards your “issues” and please, don’t ignore them. As I opened up to these people, I slowly but steadily understood that I was in a situation that just didn’t serve me any longer.
So, thanks to the advice of my experienced general practitioner, I went into psychoanalysis (thank you Mr. Freud and more importantly C. G. Jung – they did important groundwork in the field of psychology). In this therapy setting, I finally found a place where there was NO pressure… What a relief, I can tell you. With the wise and caring old lady, who was my therapist, I could simply be myself; with all my perceived flaws. And she started to show me the way towards freedom.
I mean … depression (from which I suffered at that point) is not a flaw. It’s a desperate cry of the soul, signaling that it suffers from to much pressure or wrong circumstances which drag you down. So please, don’t judge people with depression. They first need understanding and then HELP to get out of their situation.
Don’t get me wrong, too much understanding doesn’t serve them either. They need to show some effort, too. Things don’t happen on their own. But the meaning of depression, is – at first – simply that … “Get out of the pressure” .. de – pression.
So a couple of months into therapy, I told me therapist that everything I ever wished for was vanishing. I was really desparate. Then she told me something very import and hope instilling that will stay with me forever:
Sebastian, yes, your old dreams are falling apart …. but – when you keep going in the right direction – (see my post on the importance of gut feelings) then new dreams and hopes will appear.The wise old therapist lady (thank you, dear helper in dark times)
Back then, in this phase of darknes,s that sentence was an important lighthouse for me. And she was right. After a challenging but worthwhile journey, I got stronger and stronger by the years. The darkness started to fade away and what my therapist told me … became truth. 😊 New dreams – ones that I didn’t even had in mind back then – started to appear and still do.
The inspiring author and teacher Rebecca Campbell writes about this in her book “Light Is the New Black“. She hit a similar – but different 😉 – brick wall and also after a journey, could let go of the stuff that kept dragging her down.
And Rebecca is absolutely not the only one. There are many, many more on this planet (lot’s more than you might think … you are NOT alone). This pattern of crisis and then finding hope, is a very common life pattern among us people. American author and spiritual writer Richard Rohr perfectly describes this pattern in his excellent book “Falling Upwards“.
He also says, that when you slide into a crises, it’s time to leave the bad stuff behind and let the good stuff come in. So the downfall – in reality – is not a failure of yours, but a necessary phase which want’s to show you (big time): “Hey please wake up my dear. There’s bad stuff in your life that no longer serves you! Let it go!”.
Richard Rohr says, that when you get rid of this junk (which doesn’t happen over night, but it does, when you keep at it), then new and helpful things will start to come your way.
So please, if you are stuck, seek help and keep going in the right direction. There’s hope and a better life – full of new dreams – waiting for you!
Trust me. I myself have been through such challenging times. And this is why I feel the need to share this story with you. Because, owing to my journey, I now know that there’s help available and better times are possible. You just have to walk your path. Trust your gut, it will guide you.